Monday, April 4, 2011

The Beginning of the End of My Free Time

I'm sitting in my room, staring at my computer, struggling to find something to do. I've surfed the web, I've caught up on all my shows, the latest movies, played video games to pass the time, what now? It's not that there's a lack of things that need doing, there never is really. There are things for class I can do, a take-home exam due in two days, assigned reading that I've been behind in for weeks, and papers to write.

It is my last semester after all, so I should study and work hard to end my college career with good grades, right? It feels just the opposite however, classes feel meaningless, chunks of time spent thinking and discussing the morality of Killing Things, learning about Popular Culture and Global History, watching and discussing the Films of Stephen King, and studying the way our bodies use energy and dietary nutrients in Sports Nutrition. It all sounds rather important, doesn't it? (except perhaps the films of Stephen King...) Thinking critically and talking about the morality of killing, of when it is morally permissible and when it is not, in situations such as abortion, animals, war and self defense, sounds like something incredibly important, doesn't it? Shouldn't this be a subject deeply considered, discussed and argued about, so we can see all the sides, so we can continuously make better judgements about these things and work towards a morally better future, in regards to killing? But no, it's a 'philosophy' class, meaning it has no 'real' application in the 'real' world, right? People laugh about it, ask me if it's a 'hippy' class about how we shouldn't kill animals and hug trees and be vegetarians and blah blah blah. It's not. It's a real discussion about the way we live and has us question the way we should live, but it's not going to help me in the 'real world' so it's useless. Isn't that something we should be doing all the time, questioning the way we live? But it doesn't matter, because it's that dreaded useless subject, 'philosophy', which even worse then 'English.' 'Philosophy' is just people talking about nothing. So why am I even taking this class?

The rest of my classes are more of the same. Pop culture shows how media and society define us, how advertising tells us who we are and should be, teaches us how to question and analyze the messages we are bombarded with day in and day out, but who cares? There's no practical application for that, nothing that's going to help me get a job. And what am I going to do with the knowledge of Global History? Americans are good and every one else is bad, be patriotic, hate foreigners, that's all I need to know. Sports Nutrition is probably the only class I've taken in my college career that's of any  real use. The rest? English and film classes, learning to read, watch, study and write critically. Four years spent, and what can I do? Everyone asks me what I'm going to do with an English major and laugh when I say live on the street in a cardboard box, but that seems to be the only thing I'm qualified for, especially with graduation looming on the horizon.

So why bother doing work for classes? Might as well keep putting that off for as long as possible.

There's things I could do for my future, study for the MTEL(Massachusetts Test for Educator Licensure) which I'm taking in May, work on my resume, and apply for teaching positions for next year. Teaching, that's the ticket. Teaching english, preferably. Yeah that sounds like fun, attempting to force kids to read horribly dull texts in a time when reading has gone out of fashion. Reading is considered lame and boring these days, when watching tv and movies is easier, faster and there's less thinking involved. Teaching is a noble duty, right? Training the kids for the future, teaching them vital skills they will use throughout their life and all that. Or maybe it's just another job, one where it doesn't matter how well you teach, but rather how long you teach. Get the kids to pass the right tests and you've done your job, do it for twenty years and you're set for life. Good job, here's tenure and a pat on the back.

And so I put that off too, after getting overwhelmed by the number of jobs and programs, by not knowing the right things to put on my resume, by not knowing virtually anything about teaching, and by the fact that graduation is coming and the feeling I'm doomed no matter what. It's my own fault, I know, I've doomed myself by picking such a useless major.

That's when I come up with a brilliant idea. A blog, I think. That would be perfect. What better way to procrastinate then to write up bad stories and useless thoughts of my own in a place where nobody will see them? Whenever I have something to do, I can simply say, "Well I need to post on my blog first, then of course I will get right on that thing I have to do." It's a perfect procrastinating tool, and I recommend it to everyone that reads this (which is nobody at all of course, because nobody cares about blogs anymore, I've come much too late to the whole blogging craze).

"Why a blog?" you might ask. To get rich and famous of course. Why else? I will attain an immense following that will check this blog daily for my awesome posts. Eventually I will have to get twitter because of the hundreds of awesome witty remarks I think of during the day, not to mention the fact that everyone will want to know what I am doing at all times. My tweets and posts will become books which will become terrible tv and movie adaptations that everyone will watch. Hopefully, Charlie Sheen will be involved.

Ahem, perhaps this has gone on too long. I realize I've ranted and raved and rambled on, which, I think, is entirely what a blog is for. I was merely attempting to come up with a decent first post and this is what happened. It's your own fault, really. Nobody made you read it.

Anyways, here I will put ramblings, thoughts, stories, and who knows what all. If you enjoy anything, good for you, if not, oh well, leave a comment if you feel the need.

Read at your own risk of boredom.

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