I literally hate bouncing. At least, I hate being at the top of the stairs, because no matter what, I feel like crap. Basically I either act like an asshole, which makes me feel like crap, or I'm nice and end up letting too many people downstairs, which means I'm doing a bad job, which also makes me feel like crap. I don't enjoy being an asshole but it seems like that's what you have to be and I'm just getting sick of it. It's an impossible job, especially with the type of people you have to deal with. Another bouncer told me a woman called me a "fucking asshole" after I asked them to leave because we were closing. I literally said "It's past 2 and we're closed so if you could please finish up and head towards the door as soon as possible, thanks." Then she called me a "fucking asshole" behind my back as I walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? I'm getting sick of dealing with these fucking people.
Last night sucked, but oh well. Onwards and upwards.
My beer is better than I thought. At first, it seemed a little sweet, no head, little carbonation and very light body. I think the problem was all the sugar didn't dissolve, and the temperature in the study fluxuated alot, so the yeast didn't do it's job very well, therefore not much carbonation or alcohol. After having a few more now, it seems to taste better. Maybe a little more aging or just some time in the fridge gives it a little more body, tastes more like a real beer, and is generally tasty. So I'm pleased with it.
The word race is frantic and close, with Nate pulling ahead so far. It's tough, pouring out so many words so fast but also fun. The fantasy novel is becoming bigger and (hopefully) better. I'm expanding the scope with more characters so you could say it's becoming more 'epic'. Gah, I do hate how often that word is used these days. It barely has any meaning anymore. That and 'fail'. Really, just stop using those words as if they make you sound cool or funny, because they don't.
I've been reading a large amount of Cormac McCarthy lately. I finished All The Pretty Horses, which is really good. I'm not sure how to describe his writing. It's eloquent, it flows, his descriptions are beautiful, his dialogue is authentic. All The Pretty Horses is a fantastic western. I've also reread Blood Meridian. It might be my favorite novel. The character of the Judge is terrifying, and the kid is the lone gunslinger. Again, the descriptions of the Old West are utterly beautiful and mesmerizing, meanwhile the kid witnesses utterly brutal violence beyond measure. It is definitely the most violent book I've read. What's also crazy is it is somewhat based on reality. McCarthy researched Glanton's band of indian scalpers thoroughly. What's true and what's fictional isn't clear but it doesn't matter. It all feels true. So true that it hurts, makes you wonder just how insane the old west was, how crazy people can be.
I'm almost done with No Country For Old Men, which is also good. It's easier to read than All The Pretty Horses or Blood Meridian, easier to follow. It's still McCarthy's style and is just as good if not better than the movie, and I really liked the movie. SPOILER: Many people didn't like how the main character dies 3/4 of the way through the movie, off-screen and with no hollywood flare. There was also the fact that Tommy Lee Jones has a moment where he could engage with the bad guy, and chooses instead to leave and retire. And then the bad guy goes and kills the girl and gets away. It is understandable many people reacted badly to this. I did at first, as well. I wanted Moss and Chigurgh to meet at the end in a bloody firefight, and being denied that makes you feel...betrayed, almost. After thinking about it though, I really do love that movie. How ballsy is it to kill the main character off-screen and 3/4 of the way through the film? It's completely unexpected and I like that. I enjoy when a movie surprises me, when it's not what you expect, when it doesn't follow the hollywood convention. Besides, it makes sense, especially in the book. This is no country for old men. Tommy chooses not to face the evil because he can't. It's too much and yeah that's disappointing but to me, it's much more interesting than the same old hero fights bad guy and wins. Hollywoods been pumping out the same stories constantly, it's nice to see ones that can surprise us, even if it infuriates us as well.
I sort of feel the same way about Drive. At first, I wasn't sure I liked it, because it is definitely not what you expect. At first it sort of feels like something you've seen before. Yeah, these are criminals, the main character is a driver for robberies, but they're also funny and friendly, not really bad guys at all, you know those characters. And the main guy meets a girl, but the girl has an abusive husband whose in a bad sort of trouble, so you can basically see what's going to happen. Then, it takes a dark turn, a very dark turn and keeps going. The main character, who just seemed like a loner with a dark past, turns out to be something quite different. Now, after thinking about it, I like it. It's a good movie, but one that is quite different then you will expect. I enjoy being surprised, seeing something new. I also really like Ryan Gosling, and the acting is quite good, as well as the soundtrack which is pretty crazy. You know, I like it when a movie makes me think afterwards, makes me really figure out whether I actually enjoyed it or not. There's always those movies where it's clear cut, bam it's good or it's not and that's the end of it. The ones that make you wonder, though, those are good simply because you're still thinking about them long after you finish the film. Hmm, after looking up Drive, apparently it was based on a crime novel of the same name. Interesting.
Anyways, I need to get working on my novel or else Nate's going to increase his lead even more.
"I don't know what to make of that. I sure don't. The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willing to die to even do this job. But, I don't want to push my chips forward and go out and meet something I don't understand. A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say, "O.K., I'll be part of this world."
-Ed Tom Bell, No Country For Old Men