Sunday, December 23, 2012


I've put off writing a blogpost simply because I do not know how to write it. I don't know what to say about the tragic events that happened and yet I don't just want to go on as if nothing happened. Something happened. Something awful and terrible and horrible and bad. What else can you say?

I could say I'm sending all my prayers and condolences but honestly, whether I'm doing it or not, saying it on the internet seems more like something people do to make themselves feel better. I just don't see how a bunch of strangers on the internet saying things like that is going to make the victims feel any differently. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, either, to say that stuff, just that I personally don't see the point in it. Others feel differently and even if it is just something to make the one who says it feel better, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with someone feeling like they are helping in some small way even if they aren't? We all need to feel better. Frankly this is an event we won't forget for a long time to come.

I'm not sure if it's even hit me, really. Whenever I think about it, my mind kind of slides off, puts it deep down. I know it's an awful thing. I work with children every day and to imagine that kind of thing happening...It's unbelievable. Maybe that's why I can't wrap my head around it. It is simply illogical, impossible to me. The idea that someone could do something like that....

It doesn't matter about the guns. It really doesn't. In the big picture, people are still going to be able to own guns. So they might be a little harder to get. Who cares? The mindset of this country is such that no big gun reform is ever going to happen. I'm not saying it should. I know plenty of intelligent and careful people that own guns, that I trust to own guns. But then, there's a hell of a lot of strangers and stupid people in the USA that also likely own guns and that's the part that scares me. Who knows. What we really need is better mental health, not armed guards in our schools. Seriously NRA? Yeah, great way to scare and intimidate the children and faculty. And what about movie theaters? Armed guards there too? Everywhere there's a mass shooting? And how much would that cost, exactly? Arming guards and putting them in every school? How about the poorer schools, would they get less guards? Any way you look at it, it's a stupid fucking idea.

And arming the teachers isn't a good idea to me, either. That would fundamentally change the teacher-student relationship. Everything the teacher said would take on a new meaning with the students knowing they have access to a freaking gun. School would become an awful place with a dangerous atmosphere. It would feel less safe, not safer.

What we need to know is that the people who own guns are rational and responsible individuals. How do we do that? I don't know, anything that could be put in place would piss off the people with guns who would cry about the government getting into their business and shit like that. Hey, guess what, if you own something that can easily kill another human being, maybe the government should know about it? I don't know. Like I said, I feel conflicted. I know rational and responsible people who own guns but I also know there are alot of people out there who aren't rational or responsible.

I remember watching the news that day. The media scrambled to find out why and how this happened though I kept thinking, "Don't we already know?" We find out the guy was mentally ill. Of course he was fucking mentally ill, he shot up an elementary school. It wouldn't have mattered if there had been any sign of mental illness in the past, a person who commits that act is not acting rationally, logically, or in any sane manner of any kind. The guy was mentally ill and got ahold of weaponry and went to town, that's it. I knew that the second I heard about it. I don't know. Seems like the media was just pointing out the obvious because we need to dissect every little aspect, nitpick every little detail and understand....But we can't understand. The person was mentally ill. They were not acting sane and you can't understand why an insane person is acting insane.

But who am I? Nobody, really. Honestly, we should just be nicer to each other. Kumbaya and all that. I guess that's all I have to say.

1 comment:

  1. Glad you wrote about it because it should not be buried.
    When you are working with children, one of the best things you can help them learn is how to manage emotions appropriately. Emotions are not wrong but the behavior that follows often is wrong. We need to raise emotionally intelligent children and not enough of this is happening to ward off the evil of some people's insanity. definitely better access to mental health services would help.
    But murder has always existed, even as far back as Adam and Eve's children, when Cain killed his brother Abel over jealousy.
    Letting those people know how we feel and that we are grieving the loss of those innocent lives may help them to know they are not alone.
    I think it would help me to know my country was grieving with me.
    Kind of like our town of Randolph when Brooke Bennet was murdered, the whole town was affected and I feel like that had to have meant something.
    Call it the intensity of the collective consciencness (sp?)
    Anyways, just some of my thoughts as it has been on my mind too!